Karmic connections

When I was younger I used to be addicted to drugs. Now meditation is my medication.

I want to write about unconsciousness. When we get hurt or are in pain and that pain accumulates over years and years or if we have had some traumatic life event, it is very easy to slip into unconsciousness. Facing emotions, feelings and meeting life head on takes a lot of courage.
It can be challenging and it sometimes takes years to sort through and heal these events.
But we can always forgive and always heal.

When I was young, I experienced a lot of karmic burden and was faced with intense situations very early on in life. It demanded of me a great level of maturity to handle what I was experiencing. It was very easy to slip into unconsciousness and even easier to choose my escape in the form of drugs and alcohol. Even weed, though a harmless herb, is subtly a form of escape. Living and growing up in Vancouver, marijuana is accepted as recreational and social and rarely even referred to as a drug. And for some, it may not be. But for me, it was. It was another way to make life more exciting and sometimes just bearable. It solicited creativity and expansion for some time and I do admit that much of my spirituality was sparked by it. But all of this brings me to a greater depth of exploration. IF I had not found drugs, would my spirituality naturally have come out anyways. These thoughts of responsibility have been coming to mind for me. These events that happen to us, is it because of past life events and decisions that we come into this life and experience certain eperiences. Such as, someone who is really angry, is it really the events that are happening around them that are making them angry, or are they just angry. OR when I was hurt from a very young age, did I come into this world hurt, or did the events cause the hurt?

I was in Save on Foods today and there was this really fowl lady standing behind me in line. Fowl because I could just feel the negative energy pervading her aura. Do you ever just feel that around someone and you want to move aside because you get a bad vibe being in their presence. Well anyways. I could feel this negative energy and it was so bad it almost started to make me mad. I realized I was taking on her energy, I was allowing it to affect me. But it was my choice in that moment how I felt. Ya, maybe she was eyeing me down because I'm young and beautiful and she is old and bitter but so what, why should I get myself upset over her googly stink eye. So I just pulled myself back into myself and felt good, because that is my natural state. I'm kind of being fasicious right now and I know we all have our bad days. But the point I am trying to make is about taking responsibility for all that happens to us. Taking the power back and not allowing circumstance to dictate us.

The other point is that a lot of people on this great Earth are walking around unconscious. For whatever reason, from hurt or lack of knowledge they walk around unconscious and literally, they are living in the darkness. It is sad but true. When you are in the dark, you hurt people, yourself and others. They can't help it, they are in the darkness. But like Gandhiji said, "hate the sin, not the sinner". We still have to keep ourselves protected from these people, but we can still love them, but maybe sometimes from a distance. There is one particular person in my life that has hurt me over and over again. It was someone particularly close to me and at some point, I just had to cut her off. That was enough. I love her to death, but her unconscious behavior is just rampant and until she clears that shit up, I want no part in it. I pray for her everyday but I can't allow myself to continue the vicious cycle. We can't help everyone but we can pray for them.

So anyhow, this was great to share. I would love to hear more feedback from the people. So wassup?:)

My night of Academy Awards

I'm sitting in Starbucks this evening while hundreds of thousands of people around the world tune into the Academy Awards, all watching as a few select people accept nominations for best actor/actress etc. In Starbucks, while this goes on somewhere in Hollywood, across from me is a drunk man, a Native American. He is loudly talking about how he has had his land stolen from him from the government and his girlfriend is in jail. He is full of dysfunction and is talking to himself. This is when I realize that there really is something wrong with this world.  The set design alone at the Oscars cost millions and millions of dollars. This is the dysfunction of our society.

Evil is real, we do have to protect ourselves and stay strong, stay centered, stay alert and be aware of what is going on so we don't get duped. Protect our energy.