Why am I so afraid of life?
Why am I so afraid of what I could become.
Why am I afraid of happiness.
Why am I afraid to make a choice, to take a risk.
Why do I tell others they are prefect and beautiful and supported
and then not believe it myself.
Why do I pray and commune with God every morning
but feel like a failure in his creation.
Why do I only reach out when I am weak.
Why do I hide myself from others.
Why don't I feel I need friends, but miss them at the same time.
Why do I isolate myself.
My heart aches today because I love my lord,
but sometimes, I have a hard time with his creation.
I am scared to be hurt again and again by his children,
from small remarks, or an unkind glance.
Why do I allow myself to be so sensitive, to be vulnerable
with the wrong people.
Why do I care so much, why do I worry so much.
I want redemption. I don't want to be controlled by this material world.
I want freedom, I want peace.
Please help me.
i need some Clarity
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