Just have faith

Everything I want, I'm afraid to grab
and everything I have, I'm afraid to lose.

Why do I feel like such a loser when people ask me, "so what have you been up to",
or "how have you been making money lately".

If I replied honestly:

"Well, I have been living on faith and trust, day to day serving
as I feel called and directed. Today, I planted in the garden, the day before, I painted.
Next month I may host some people to enjoy nature, I may also take a trip to do some healing work.
In August I will fast and pray for four days".

Why do I feel like cringing, like hiding, or lying or even worse, justifying.

I haven't really been "making" money persay, it just kind of flows to me when I need it.
In large amounts when called for and small amounts other times.
Really, I usually don't worry about it and it flows
and when I do worry about it, it doesn't flow.

I read today in a book that prosperity is the "consciousness" of abundance.
And poverty is the "consciousness" of lack. To be happy within our means is true abundance.

So it really is in the mind. If I can be happy living within my means, which are limited according
to my faith in God, I will always have an abundant life if I just have faith.
What is having faith though. How can I just have faith?

What is the right answer and why am I always getting confused when it comes to making a decision?
Is my name not Clarity?
Why can't I just trust that I can make the right decision. Why do I have to figure everything out all the time.

It seems one day I am so clear and sure of what I want and the next day, it all changes. What is the right decision? I was so sure I was going home to Sundance, so sure. And then today I fall into a pool of self pity, and I'm like that's it, I'm not going. Everyone around me is convincing me, against it.

I feel like they are advising me based on their thinking and what is best for them, not what is best for me. Are they messangers from God or is that a test to my resolve. But is that my mind coming in!

Just have faith I told my sister on the phone today.

Just have faith.

Just have faith.

Just have faith.

Just have faith that whatever happens, is the best thing. We have to make choices, but just have faith, that whatever comes, is the best thing.