Being driven

Being driven means just that.
It means you are literally being driven to succeed or acheive some worthy goal.
Sometimes, even against your own will.

It feels like someone or something is at the wheel and I'm just holding on for the ride.
I'm so driven it's not even funny, sometimes, it's really not funny.
What is funny though is that I'm always telling people to go with their hearts, to do what they love and most of all to never feel like they have to do something. I always tell my partner to just do what brings him the most joy.

But when it comes to my life, it's somehow diffrent. I feel there is a certain amount of steps I need to take before I can be, do and have what I want to be content. Interresting?

For example, I'm starting school this Monday to continue my film studies. But it's a means to an end because I'm doing so, so I can move to the country and run my own production company/school and make my films independently. This is really what I actually want to be doing right now. SO again, it's doing something so I can be somewhere else, eventually.

I had a vision today while I was laying with my crystals. I saw myself walking down a beach parking lot, pushing a stroller. I was with a man. I had shorter hair and was wearing high heels and my dress was blowing in the wind.

It feels like that's where I want to be. Will I ever be happy just where I am... here now ???