I am exactly where I want to be

I am exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to be doing. It's a brief change in the perspective of a situation that only yesterday, I resisted with fury. Where I am right now, if I responsibly look at where I am, is exactly where I choose to be. In all it's pain, beauty, glory, it's my life. I am painting, meditating, living in community, studying, learning, growing, getting stronger, becoming more centered, I am getting to know myself and God.

 It's 2012 and I am alone, in the sense that I am not in a romantic relationship. I am in relationship with God and the universe right now. I am seeing so much beauty, kindness and gentle teachings unfolding within and without. Things are manifesting around me at light speed and all I can do is say: "Thank you divine mother." The more she gives to me, the more I offer it back and say "I want only you". The more she gives to me, the less it makes me want because I feel nourished, provided for and I know I am taken care of. She keeps giving to me and it makes it easier for me to stop wanting, to stop yearning. Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things shall be added unto you. This isn't some cute tagline, this is for reals. I have everything and it is truly in an inward sense. I feel inside like I have everything, so I have everything and it also is manifesting in my outer reality which I am currently experiencing.

I tried something new today. I stayed open. I stayed myself, I sang, I spoke out at the dinner table, I chanted loud and hard and deep at kirtan. I didn't let anyone dictate how I was, felt or acted. I was me. How freeing. how simple and how freeing to just be ME? Sounds crazy right. But it's true. My tea bag today said "Live in your strength". That helped me a lot today. We are strong, each one of us and I found in being myself, I was naturally strong because I didn't have anything to worry about. I wasn't outward focused. Anyways, enough for tonight, I am tired now, time to let the body rest. Night night. Love love. Om Om