Admittedly I am blogging alot lately. But you have to understand, I am away from my lover, my home in Palawan and I have no job. I don't watch TV, I don't drink and for crying out loud, I don't even eat gluten.
I have to do something with my time. I really want to share and as well, this is more like my personal diary than anything. Since being out in the bush for the last eight months and awakening to my healing hand things have changed for me this time coming home to Vancouver. I am seeing things diffrently, like watching my aunt swim in the pool tonight. I don't know if it was the maltodextrin in the teriyaki crackers I ate but as I watched her form glide across the lit up pool, it seemed like magic. Like I was watching some magic show of light and energy and the way the light was bouncing in the night felt very sacred. I am seeing things in a sacred manner and I can't help but feel a little overwhelmed by it at times. Being around so many thousands of energy bodies downtown after being around mostly Jo, alone or with only the small population in the little town of El Nido. The entire town of El Nido is equivalent to a couple Vancouver blocks and the population is probably smaller than China town. Since coming home I had the realization of the medicine and sacredness each being has to offer.
We all have medicine and it is our choice whether we feed people good or bad medicine. For example, if you are a receptionist and you don't smile when someone comes to ask some simple information, imagine the effect that one person can have on another's day. Just a smile, now that is good medicine.
Anyways, the desire to smoke pot came up strong tonight. It's a way to drown the mind, to get out of the thoughts, get out of ourselves. But that is exactly it, it's avoiding the self and life. I'm not saying I'm against marijuana use, what I'm saying is I made the conscious choice to be with myself tonight and what I am experiencing. I also figure that after three weeks of spiritual journeying, I owe it to myself to fill myself up with good things. Tomorrow night is the sweat lodge and I want my mind clean and clear. The more sober I am and the more I meditate, this life just seems to be magic. Like this morning, this blue jay landed right near me while I was doing yoga and it started to chirp at me. But not just chirp, it started to communicate at me, it really wanted my attention. This is the second time in three days that a blue jay has landed near me and chirped in this incessant way, like trying to get my attention. As my mind got still today, I realized it was telling me to pay attention. The lessons and the magic that is unfolding right now for me here, back in Vancouver, something special is transpiring and I need to be open to the deeper meaning of things. I looked up the meaning of Blue Jay medicine in Native American symbology and it reads: Royalty, Energy, Enthusiasm.
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