Being sober is like waking up to another world.
It really is another life living when you are just here and not avoiding it with something else.
When your on drugs, if the philosophy of a dualistic nature is correct, if you swing so far, you always have to swing equally back in the opposite direction.
So if you are "high" on drugs for 5 years, I believe it may take 5 or more years to slowly start to recover and come back to "normal", whatever that is.
Today, I felt high in a sense, just on life. Actually I had a kombucha and I actually got kind of woozy from it and that's what got me thinking about all of this.
I thought, man, I'm really happy and grateful for all the other worlds I explored back in the day but I am so happy to be back in this world. Most of my inspiration, art, ideas come from that other realm, so I guess it was good that I got familiarized with it.
There's a sensitivity to life that comes when you're playing in the other realms and one should not loose that either. It's like when your tuned in to the other realms, be it on drugs or meditation you tend to look and receive life in a different way. Such as if you start having a friend come to mind over and over again, you start to feel "oh maybe there is some reason I should get in touch with this person", so you do and it turns out there's a very good reason or they were thinking about you to. If you are not tuned into the spiritual world you may think, "Oh, I should call such and such, but nah, I'll do it some other time, it's not important." Which we all do but the point is, the sensitivity to life and how it works in magical ways. Don't forget!
There is a tendency to start to think and feel like this is all there is. A de-sensitivity to life in plain words, just taking everything for granted. Come home from work, eat, watch tv, do some social activity, go home, go to bed. Get up, rinse, repeat. This is what I hated as a kid, I couldn't understand it for the life of me why anyone would possibly want to do this?
Hence, the Drugs.
But there is a sweetness that comes to normal, everyday life. Like walking to the store on a sunny day to buy your mom a Mother's day card. You just live and things just balance out.
Your worst days become less and less worse.
Unfortunately the other side of the coin is I haven't half developed my actual earth life as much as say someone who has focused 30+ years just on the material plane. I've focused maybe 15 good years and most of those were before I was 15! Spiritual, yes, yes, yes and half on the material.
Now that I'm turning 30 in a couple months, oh boy, I feel that a big shift is about to change things around for me. I am getting to the point where I am settling in. In to myself, in to life, in to this "game" for the long run.
I tried to beat it, escape, curse it, understand it, avoid it, stomp on it and run from it. But you know that saying "if you can't beat em, join em", well: Here I am! Here I am in Vancouver working, renting a place, grocery shopping, paying bills, having a cel phone, all these seemingly normal things that never seemed normal before. For an escapist (be it drugs or whatever) everything is a lot harder to do than it may seem. And also, they feel very proud of themselves when they can do any normal little thing. The thing is, society praises people for the wrong reasons. It's not about what you can accomplish, it's about everyone being true to yourself and "your" own personal best. There is no way to compare! And we should be proud of ourselves for every accomplishment we do, each and every day. And acknowledge others too. Even one good day, really, it means so much.
What makes you the happiest? Are you doing it? ..... And why not?
I'm doing things differently than before though. I went for a walk to the market today and I just enjoyed "being" there. I didn't need to buy anything or be with anyone. I'm not in the city anymore working to make material gains or to get in debt, or to look good. I am just saving, doing my thing, keeping a low pro and keeping my inner spiritual center as my focus and circumference in everything I do.
No comments:
Post a Comment