Butterfly - Open your wings and Fly

I am a butterfly in my cocoon. Soon my wings will be strong enough to fly. Many years I crawled upon mother earth in guilt and shame, living with my eyes shut. Now, my DNA has been restructured, my call has been heard AND the light has filled my entire body. I am re-born. Five more months and my cocoon will hatch and I will fly, on this physical plane.

I couldn’t even face my own father, the one who created me and breathed life into my lungs. For years I couldn’t look him in the face because I didn’t know how to say the words: “please forgive me”. Instead I  hid and just kept my eyes shut, ashamed to look him in the face. I was afraid of the light and afraid to take responsibility for my actions, to stand up and to take responsibility for my life. Now I am open again, open to life. Open to seeing what is around me, open to listening to those who speak to me. I can see the beauty in things again and I feel an overwhelming sense of joy.  I remember when I was a kid and I felt really safe. When things were upsetting or the energy was bad, I cried and when I did something bad, I said: “I sowwy” and then things were good again. I want to remain in that space where I know that everyday, my needs are taken care of. Not because I only work hard but because my father loves me and knows my needs. My father has always taken care of me. I accept now that I am in this body and sometimes, I can jump up into my light body and soar through the stars, visiting the earth from a higher perspective. I can roam around with the celestial beings and I can feel that they are here too, on earth guiding me and healing me. My blog now isn’t just about getting a point across. It’s about sharing the truth that we are awake. Mother Earth is waking up and she is asking her children to stand up and stop pretending they are dead. We are alive and powerful and if our eyes are open we won't hurt our mother the way we used to.

I had a vision today, of our mother earth.                                                                                                            She is a woman… lying on her back in space. Earth is her body. We, and all the beings on it, are her children. She is alive, she is a being. She loves us like a mother, unconditionally.                                        And in turn, we poison her, we bomb her, we dig in her, extracting her abundance and resources, we pollute her, we kill our brothers, the animals and we kill her children. Imagine a sacred woman, so sacred, a pregnant woman, or a woman on her moon, she is laying there in a sacred way, imagine doing those things to her.

We don’t need to walk on earth cautiously, but we need to walk consciously. We need to watch create a plan to live for the long run and revisit our goals and dreams. Are they good for our mother? Is a new car, a new TV, chemical foods, a new condo and more material things good for our mother. This is no joke anymore, things are at a serious crisis point. If you don’t believe it, ask why 40 million people in the states right now are living off of food stamps right now? Why is the earth erupting in massive and destructive earth changes and why have weather patterns, globally, turned upside down? Why is war erupting across the globe all in the name of oil?  Something is up people and it’s not a negative thing, it’s a huge opportunity to say yes to the change that needs to take place for us to co-exist here. Either that, or co-exit.

There are major world predictions for this year, 2012 coming from the oldest and wisest cultures we have on earth. The only people not claiming massive World and economic change is the American government.

I just finished a four year cycle of vision questing which spanned East and West, from the United States to the Philippines, all in search of myself. I had the privilege of interviewing and living with several enlightened teachers and masters. That cycle of my life is complete now  and I am ready for my mission. To serve this planet in the best way I can, to awaken myself and awaken others. Not to aim for fame or fortune, but to contribute what I was brought here to do. Telling the truth is something I have always loved as well as storytelling and making movies. I have documented the last four years of my journey on film and soon it will be clear to me, the purpose for this Quest. Maybe it was just for me, maybe, it is to share my particular process of self inquiry with others.  Everything I do these days, is for fun, even my business plan, which I am supposed to be working on right now J, is fun.

We are a beautiful global family that has made an agreement to be part of this drama right here, now on Earth. We are brave beings to collaborate and play out this massive, galactic drama. For myself, it was fifteen long years of serious trials, pain, mistakes, heartbreak, depression, sadness, hurt, anger. But it’s over now. The joy, the light has replaced the darkness in my body cells and I will never go back. I chose to work with the white T-shirts now, and the black T-shirts, well, in the words of Johanne Ordonez “can kiss my butt”.

I would love feedback about the documentary, Yoga girl East West, is this a film people would like to see? What kinds of films would YOU like to see being made? I would love to hear from you. I know you're out there. :) with love

Our Golden Compass - the emotions

I just watched the movie, "The Golden Compass". It's a kids movie about people who have something called "a demon". This demon is an animal and each person has one, a guide that is a part of them. The demons speak and communicate and have a connection with the human like no one else. The "gobblers", the people who control things and make the laws, seek to seperate the humans from their demon so they can be easily controlled. The gobblers want to stop the humans from growing up into adults because their demon connect them, the humans with the other worlds. The spirit realm.
Sound familiar?

These kids movies really make me wonder, especially since the Hollywood powers that be probably have a good idea about some of the upper level shit going on these days. I dunno about you but I feel like there is a battle going on right now that far outreaches what the mainstream public is being told about. In the golden compass, they are told of the prophecy of a war that is to come, and it's not just over earth, it's for the galaxy and beyond. The prohecy is about a child who can change that. Could we be those children? I feel like we are, and more so recently. I just moved into a house with a good friend named Miro, he is an Indigo kid. It's amazing being around one another, all kinds of crazy miracles and realizations occur. It's like our evolution is sped up around eachother. God is working in some mysterious ways recently and my life is starting to spin out of control. Not in a reckless way but out of my everyday "thinking" way. I feel like the flow is taking over so strong that I don't even have  time to think about it or resist it because so many miracles just happen one after the other. Since taking part in ceremony, life has opened in a new and incredible way. Who I am is being revealed, I have arrived. I am here, my eyes are open for the first time maybe since I was 1 or 2 years old.

This life is so full of mysteries and the deeper I get, the more humble I become because I see how little I know. I've been getting worked over lately when I don't follow my heart and go to deep in the mind, I suffer, it brings me pain. I am seeing lately how I cannot judge another because there is always a reason why things happen and why people make certain choices. We may not agree but there is freedom in allowing others to make their own choices and not being attached in either way they choose. Give people the freedom to make their own choices. I am seeing in my own life, the joy that comes in not having expectations of others. I have a lot of forgiveness to pray about for myself and others. So many things...

I've been sleeping a lot lately and sometimes I notice I have been sleeping longer than I probably should. I have been allowing myself to follow my natural flow by every night turning my phone off and allowing myself to wake up in my own cycle. Usually a crow, or some other bird will start to chirp insistently when it is time for me to rise. Sometimes, when I am in tune, the sun rise naturally will wake me. Lately though, like this morning, it was close to ten I think. There is something amazing about following my heart because I don't see myself struggling much anymore. Things come smoothly and naturally and everything always falls perfectly into place. I trust that it will, I don't doubt it. We are all entitled to re-enter the kingdom, our natural birthright. We have never left our royal parent's side, it's only us, who turn away. Because we want to do things our way and we don't listen.

Recently, I have come back into communication with my guides. It is a very very interresting and amazing situation beyond worlds, words, whatever. Guides, guidance, it is the same thing. All we have to do is start to talk to them, to listen, and to trust. Trust your feelings, they will lead you somewhere. Even anger and sadness lately has been so beautiful when I'm open to crying or feeling what I feel, I go be alone and I pray or I lay down with music and I just ask. WHat is this I'm feeling, why? And always, it is shown to me and it always stems back to me. Finding ways to clear the energy is super important and recently I realized how many ways I've been taught to clear my energy. SOme of them include: smudging yourself with sage, using crystals.

I would love to hear your way of clearing your energy...

Other people's process

Everybody's got just a little bit of poison in them, just enough to keep them human.

A good affirmation I use is "I close my aura off to all but the divine".

I'm realizing these days that I don't have to behave according to the emotions and feelings of others. Nor do I have to absorb how everyone else is feeling. It's very freeing. It allows me to be happy because I am happy and not feel bad, just because someone around me is feeling bad. It doesn't mean I don't empathize with them or I judge them, it just means, that I don't have to absorb all the emotions that go around me.

I never felt part of a group...

I have never felt a part of a group. I have been walking in the Native American way for four years now and being the only white person everywhere I went always made me feel in part, isolated.  Then, I fell in love and moved to the Philippines, where once again I was the minority, but even more so, I was one of the two only white people in my town. Once again, I was isolating myself, still feeling somewhat left out because of the roots those around me had with the land, their family, the language, the food.  Once again, I sat with myself this evening, with some beautiful folks from the Santo Daime church of Brazil. Mostly everyone there speaks farse or Portugese. As I sat meditating I looked at my situation and wondered what it was amongst my own culture I wasn’t facing or hiding from. What was it in myself or the white culture that I just didn’t want to look at. Well, partly, it’s because white people don’t have a tribe. Our tribe involves us, our family and everyone else is considered separate or outside. We stick to ourselves, we look out for ourselves and everyone else, is just, well, separate.

 When I was a teenager I was  best friends with a black girl named Ashley and I was always hanging out at her family’s house. I became part of the family. One white girl amongst a large family from St. Vincents in Jamaica. I was accepted as one of them, but still, I was white. I have been avoiding looking and accepting the white culture because I have looked upon it with great judgement. But recently, I was called to my tribe. I was taking for granted that my tribe meditates, and we have the teachings of our Master, Paramahansa Yogananda and the other gurus.

 I stopped writing on my blog recently because I became afraid of the responsibility of what you put out into the world and into people’s minds. When I sat one time, I felt the importance and significance in only spreading the highest vibration. Last time I looked, over 7,000 have read my blog over the past few months. I started this thing as something to keep me busy on the rainy, lonely days I was feeling in Palawan when I had no other white people to talk to. The very people I was running from.

Recently I have had a major shift in my thinking and consciousness. The city life is no longer for me. I know I’ve said this before, but I am actually leaving now, soon. There is a big shift coming, mother earth is waking up and some major things are going to come about. Maybe even as soon as this year. The only way to get through this in a harmonious and good way, is to join together in community. This is why I have to leave. The call of the spirit is finally there and I am free flowing and following it where it takes me. It’ s kind of intense to feel so ungrounded to anything, people, places, things but I am re-birthing.  I have arrived. My eyes are open and I can feel again. I can feel and look at things and not be afraid I am going to feel attached. I think I have been walking around for years, trying not to see or feel so I wouldn’t fall in love with everything and everyone because it’s all so special and beautiful. This type of non-discrimination has got me in trouble and I have finally learnt. To keep my energy inside, to keep my connecting to God strong no matter who is around or what’s going on. It is really the moment of truth for me and I have chosen above all else to let my will go and follow this will of God’s. The Great Spirit has a bigger and better plan and I am seeing with my own eyes, when I let go, that everything is provided for me greater than I can imagine.

After the Santo Daime ceremony, in which they use the medicine, called Daime which is the sacred Ayahusca, my life shifted in many ways, unimaginable. Every aspect of my being has been changed, transformed and illuminated. I didn’t know where I was going to live the day I came home but I wasn’t worried. My good friend, picked me up, showed me a beautiful room in Lynn Valley amongst the river and trees, we picked up my stuff and creator paid the bill. Here I am. Ten days from now, I move again. Until, next month, I am gone. My dharma, my duty in life is coming alive. I am becoming myself which is my chief mission, to wake up and awaken others. This beautiful mission I have been given. I realized that the path of meditation is slow and steady, slower and in smaller doses but it builds, like a healthy immunity in the body. Until so much is built up, that the darkness cannot remain. I have been scared to express my joy and happiness. Maybe partly because I judged others, maybe in part to all those who felt jealous or were judging me. I am a sensitive being, we all are and we feel when we are judged, and it hurts others  unconsciously when we judged them. Let us ask forgiveness from the father for the past and ask to move forward. We are his children and we deserve to enter the eternal kingdom.

There is a reason I was given the path of meditation, in part, it keeps me on earth. When I take medicines, I want to stay on the spirit plane sometimes, because it’s like being directly connected to God for hours at a time, it’s to experience our true nature, which is bliss and love. But there is a tendency to want to stay, which is not bad, but it must be sustained and brought into the world. Life is full of beauty in every path and every color petal and it is okay for me to look but not to have to pick every flower I see. Smile at it, smell it, walk past it and keep enjoying the beauty. There must be a home to come to and maybe there is a reason I was born white this time around. If I wasn’t maybe I would belong somewhere else. I love the Native American church, I love Santo Daime, I love Ma-I and Inner Dance, I love all paths and all true religions that lead to God and Self Realization. But to choose one tradition and tribe makes you belong to something, it gives you something to hold onto, to be a part of and work at. I was chosen by Master and there I will always look for his smiling face wherever I go

Technology

I hate technology.

Yesterday as I was walking around downtown, my Iphone tracking my exact location
and providing to the minute updates of the arrival of my bus."Wow", I thought, "this is pretty cool."
I had the address and location of my place in North Van typed in and thank God, I had no idea otherwise where I was going. And then.... my phone died. After I went into panic, I breathed and released the fact that I was heading on a bus to an unfamiliar city with no address or clue of where I was headed. I allowed myself to become still inside and a flash of intuition. I remembered receving a business card from the woman of the house so I fished around in my purse and there it was. I asked the bus driver if he knew of the street name printed on the card and he told me it was my lucky day because he lived on that exact street and he was able to give me detials of how to get home.

As I sat on the bus I looked around at everyone so absorbed in their technology, shuffling around in a mindless world of nothingness, totally oblivious to everything around them including the present moment. Technology, which everyone feesl they can't live without but the question we should be asking is, are we really living with?

Technology. Keeping us away from the present moment. I met a man last night who was one of the only white men ever allowed to enter into an elite group of rastafari elders in Jamaica and allowed to attend scared prayer ceremonies. He told me how he explained to the elders one day about working for Bell in an office tower and the position he held in the company. He said they stared at him incrediously and replied, "you did what..... fo money....you crazy mahn"! They told him they couldn't understand why he spent all those years wasting his life in an office. Life to the rastafari is a miracle and not being fully lived or enjoyed unless every moment is being spent in total prescence and awareness. He even explained how Bob Marley became such a hit because of the rasta energy and spiritual principla he was putting out in the message of his music. The way we look at the city living when we are in it, is perfectly normal, but try leaving for awhile or stepping back and looking in and you will feel the insanity.

We are waking up. The planet and it's children are waking up. This society is an experiment gone wrong and it's time we admit that we messed up. Like all prodigal children, we must ask forgiveness and begin to reverse the wrong we have committed by acting for the good of all. We cannot continue to live the same self absorbed life we have always lived, consuming more than we need and create waste that doesn't dissappear.

The way I see it is the only way we are going to survive now is to form and live in community, outside of the city.

It's 3:30am and I am pretty damn exhausted. I am exhausted because I spent 5 hours in the city yesterday and it zapped me. I felt the energy of many people yesterday and it made me feel sick when I got home. People are channeling such dark spirits and they don't even know it. Materialism is a dark spirit because it overtakes you and brings you out of the present moment of feeling fulfilled, in love, grateful and instead leaves you longing and wanting more. It's a sad state of affairs but I am no longer willing to suffer along with it.

I was offered a job yesterday that I have been working the past 8 years in the film industry to be able to get to such a place. It pays more than I have ever made from a job. It's a 3 month contract leading into potentially a year and a half on a full season show. This is a production job peoplemy age dream of. And I don't know if I can accept it. To sit at a desk, to be in an office, to be on the computer, phone, internet for hours at a time. I don't know if I can handle it anymore.

Plant medicines, meditation, prayer have brought an acute sensitivity into my life that I can no longer ignore. Community is calling and I don't forsee it being amongst the city. There is a consciousness here and whether you like it or not, if you live in city, you become part of it. It's a collective agreement to live this way and to conform to city. It's fuckin sick. How many people do you know that are walking around completely fulfilled and self expressed? As human, every moment should be joyful because we are alive and that is the sacred gift we have been given. It's time to wake up people and it may not be a gentle ride if we wait too long.

Ommmmm, shanti, shanti, omm

Bikram Hot Yoga - on the rise

Crank up the heat

Crank up the heat- article by Allison Brooks

In recent years, Bikram yoga has become increasingly popular. In fact, it has been considered the fastest-growing type of yoga in America. Bikram, or "hot yoga," is the practice of performing a traditional yoga routine in an environment that's been heated to around 100 degrees. The basic principal behind Bikram yoga is that it allows individuals to sweat out toxins from the body and achieve greater flexibility while simultaneously enjoying the benefits of a traditional yoga workout.

During a typical Bikram routine, 26 yoga poses

are performed in a specific sequence. Created by Indian yoga guru, Bikram Choudhury, this routine, combined with a 100 degree environment, boasts several health and fitness benefits. First of all,

the heat associated with Bikram yoga promotes intense sweating, which allows students and practitioners to rid their bodies of toxins and other impurities. Proponents of Bikram say that this "cleanses" the system and promotes better overall health. Heat also lends to greater flexibility of muscles, tendons and ligaments, which allows for deeper stretching and a safer, more effective yoga workout.

The intense sweating associated with Bikram, combined with muscle-strengthening yoga poses, creates an extremely effective method of burning calories. In fact, with the heat and humidity of a Bikram session, students can burn almost twice the calories burned during a traditional yoga workout. For this reason, Bikram is known as a great workout for individuals looking to both lose weight and build strength and muscle tone.

When practicing Bikram, it's important to stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water, and don't eat a heavy meal before your Bikram session. Bring along your own mat and towel, as you'll be extremely sweaty when it's over. Also, most students of Bikram wear very little clothing, such as tank tops and short shorts, as to avoid overheating. Also in preparation of your first session, it's a good idea to become familiar with the 26 yoga poses used in Bikram. Practice these poses and become comfortable with them before attempting to perform them in a 100 degree environment.

Bikram is not recommended for individuals who have trouble breathing, though some suffering from lung cancers, like emphysema or mesothelioma have reaped the benefits of Bikram. Those who suffer from cardiovascular disorders or are sensitive to heat should not participate in a Bikram yoga session.  Likewise, those with any health issues or other concerns should consult a physician before beginning Bikram yoga or any other fitness routine.

While yoga is great on its own, Bikram, with its many health and fitness advantages, takes the traditional stretching and posing to the next level of intensity. With all the benefits attributed to Bikram yoga, it's easy to see why it's one of the fastest-growing workout trends in the nation.

naturallie23@gmail.com

Evolution

You keep evolving and the city just stays the same

Spiritual Art - Santo Daime

Artwork by Clarity West inspired by Santo Dieme. Based on what I saw from the sun and the energy I felt.

8x24 Acrylic Painting on Wood board 

Original Painting Available for purchase

Energy

Worry is focusing energy on the exact thing you don't want to happen.
Think about the best situation.

Ayahusca

How do you go on with normal life when you are anticipating attending a ceremony that will change your  life?

Money, work, guys, working out, all these things seemed totally un-important to me this week. I have been laying low, really low. Going out for an hour or two is just about as much as I can handle. Although at times the safety of my own home has seemed jeopardized lately. I've already given my notice to move mid-Feb after I return from my sister's wedding at Ananda. I realized today I still haven't secured a place to live but I'm not worried. I never am, especially when it comes to things like that because it doesn't matter to me where I live. I know creator has always found me the most perfect and beautiful places and he already has provided for me. Now, if I can just apply that unshkable faith to other arears of my life. Interresting how some people seem to have no trouble with money, it just flows to them but then they have all kinds of trouble in their personal lives and with themselves. And then another can have so much peace but completely lack when it comes to finishing projects or keeping their word. We all have something we are working on I guess.

I have made a choice or the choice made me this week to attend a ceremony I have been waiting a long time for. It's been tricky talking about these types of spiritual things, as it's very sensitive subject matter. For years these types of things were never written about or recorded other than being passed down orally, generation to generation. When it comes to writing about and documenting, especially on film, certain ceremonies and plant medicines, I have to be very careful how much I discuss and depict.

Lately I feel such a shift in myself, like I am becoming someone completely diffrent. I can barely recognize who I've become but I'm very proud of myself. Things that used to bother me, don't seem to throw me off anymore and I have also noticed that the more calm I become, the more tests are thrown at me. It's like if you can get past that one situation, you know you are growing, and then just keep going from there. I have been doing pretty well lately, like 5 arrows are thrown at me and usually I can deflect them except one yesterday. I gave in after feeling abused too many times by the same person and I let that anger come in. I didn't let it out, but I felt it. Man, did I pay for it! Wow, later that night I was exhausted, I had a headaches and my whole body ached. That was just from getting mad, inwardly. I have almost completely passed the point where I would outwardly freak out, but it's really about even feeling the rise in anger anymore at all. Like in the teaching of Don Juan book I'm reading right now Don Juan is asked by Carlos Casteneda if he was mad at something that had happened. Don Juan says nothing man could do is important enough to make him mad. Wow right! I want to be there.

I've been hibernating in my cave this week but every morning I have been getting up and going for a nice walk. Today was amazing because it was sunny and it felt so good. Man, I really am calling the sun into my life. I need to live where it's warm, it does so much for the mood. Ok, I'll report back more soon and as far as the ceremony, you may not hear from me till after. If so, I love you, thanks for reading and spending time with me. Shoot me a line ok, it gets lonely out here sometimes.

xox
C