What does u mean

What does it mean to be a writer?
Do I have to compose perfect sentences with perfect grammar.
To structure words so they fit tight like little, wooden building blocks?
Is this what it means to write?

Why is it that most of my perfectly structured writing always makes me cringe.
Have I set the bar too high by using the alias "Yoga Girl East West".
I said the f word in one of my blogs.
What if someone reads it and is like, Yoga girl said the f word.
I worry and I sensor and then I edit.

Structure raised the bat and struck out.
Structure walked by his life partner, freedom, because he was tired and absorbed in his Iphone on his was home from work late one night.
Structure slipped and fell down in the shower.
No one found him until one week later.
No one missed him either.

I want to write the way the wind blows.
I want to paint the way a river flows after a heavy rain.
I want to use color the way I dress myself when I am feeling free and uninhibited.
I am, I will, I intend to use money like a  golden stream of light that flows and goes where I direct it.
I am free.